


Letters to Marco

by LoveLikeDestiel



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Fluff, Jearmin - Freeform, M/M, Smut, jeanmarco, maybe some smut, this might be kinda long
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-28
Updated: 2015-02-25
Packaged: 2018-03-09 12:23:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3249563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoveLikeDestiel/pseuds/LoveLikeDestiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Letters that Jean has written to Marco, starting after his death. It's mostly composed of letters, but some chapters may be actual story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> First AoT fanfic. Please leave constructive criticism and whatnots. I do not own AoT or any of its characters.  
> Possible trigger warnings. Jean is depressed but still pushing. I will make sure to warn for any possible bad things in later chapters.

Dear Marco,  
I'm not really sure what to say. I feel kind of stupid for doing this. Armin said it might help though, so I'm gonna try it out. I miss you. I've cried every night. I don't sleep very well and when I do sleep, I have nightmares. All of them about you. About you dying every possible way. I know you don't want to hear about this. I know you probably want me to tell you that everything is okay. I can't though... I won't lie to you even if you're not here anymore.  
I've decided to join the Survey Corps. To hell with the king and even to hell with keeping myself safe in the inner walls. I'm not going to sit all comfy while our other friends die out there. I'm not going to let your death mean nothing. I'm going to fight. I'm going to kill. Most of all, I'm going to survive. I don't want to. The walls know how bad I just want to end it all now. I can't though. I won't.  
There are thing I wanted to tell you. Things I actually just came to terms with. I had... well I still do. I have feelings for you... I guess I always have, but never realized it. When you died though, only then did I realize how much I love you. How much I just wanted to hold you close and kiss you. I know I sound like a sap, but it's true.  
I should probably go to bed now. It's getting late and I need the rest for tomorrow. 

Your friend,  
Jean


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you those who have read this so far and for the kudos. Sorry it took a bit longer to put this out, but at least its here.

Dear Marco,  
It's beautiful today. Not a moment goes by that I don't think of you. Even in death you encourage me to do better. To become the leader that you thought me to be. Armin has helped me a bit. I talk to him about you. About the good memories. We've all sort of matured. I know I have. Sometimes I wish we could go back to simpler days even though it never really was simple. I just want out innocence back. I want you back.  
Sorry, I'm not used to this. The whole writing to you thing. It still feels awkward. I'll try to write to you daily but I know I won't be able to sometimes. I'm not going to try to get killed by a titan, but if I did, I wouldn't mind if I got to see you. But I already told you that I would fight, so I will.  
Tomorrow we head out to the castle that the Survey Corps is stationed at. Armin and Mikasa are going to so they can follow Eren. I don't have much else to tell you right now. Mostly we're resting a bit for the ride to the castle. I'll try to write to you tomorrow.  
Sincerely,  
Jean


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I've been busy but at least I'm putting up a chapter. <3 Love you guys~

Dear Marco,  
Arrived at the castle today. Jaeger was surprised that I came. I told him that you died. It just bothers me so much that no one saw it. That no one was there to help. It makes my nightmares worse not knowing how it happened. My mind comes up with so many ways that you could have died. Then I have to live through them in my dreams. And I can't do a damned thing about it. I've actually woke up some of the others with my nightmares. I tell them to go back to bed and not worry about me, then I lay in bed, not wanting to go back to sleep.  
Armin tries to cheer me up a bit. He showed me a book about the world outside these walls. There was something called an ocean. It's like a lake, but so much bigger and its salty! The picture that was in the book looked amazing. I wish all of us could go there one day. Even Jaeger. Who knows, maybe we can one day. I guess that's what you have to do to keep going. Have hope. It gets so fucking hard sometimes.  
Jaeger and I haven't gotten in any fights recently. Nothing really bad at least. We've all gotten more mature after the battle. I wish we didn't have to live like this. In constant fear and sadness. I guess you just have to make the best of things. But right now, I think I'll mourn just a little longer.  
We go outside the walls tomorrow. I don't know if I'm ready or not but that doesn't matter... I carved your name into my sword handle for good luck. I hope I survive but there's a small part of me that wouldn't mind if I got to see you. I know that's a bad thing to think. It's the truth though. I guess I'm going to go now. Hopefully sleep peacefully but I doubt it. I'll write to you again, if not, I'll see you.  
Jean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments, ideas, and constructive criticism is welcomed.

**Author's Note:**

> The letters may be a bit short but I'll try to get them out every other day. The story chapters will probably longer and take a bit longer to get out. Thank you for reading and please leave comments to criticize and I'm always up for ideas for later chapters.


End file.
